Noisy India

We the People of India, having plausibly resolved to convelute India into a

CHECKREIN, VOCALIST, CELLULAR, DOGMATIC REPUBLIC and to obscure to all its citizens :

INJUSTICE, social , economic and political;

POVERTY, of thought, progression, relief, faith and war ship;

INCONSEQUENTIALITY, of education and ethics;

and to promote among them all

ABSURDITY assuring indignity of the individual and impunity of the politician

IN OUR INCONSEQUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-fifth day of January, 2012, do

HEREBY ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE OURSELVES THIS CONVOLUTION

With a bullet costing around Rs 25/- and the toll charge at Rs 27/-  , Gurgaon men have found a way to beat the inflation.

Raju , a property dealer in Manesar area, said on the condition of being identified and making him famous, that the person who shot the toll booth attendant has shown a new way for all the budget conscious men of NCR.

” Shooting  a toll booth attendant has proved to be a cheaper alternative. If this is applied to long distance drives, it could save upto Rs 100/- per road trip to Jaipur”, he added.

When we asked him that it might involve killing a few toll booth attendants , he responded that it was just collateral damage.  “It serves as a warning to all men who try to make living by honest means.  Why would you do so much effort for a 5000/- salary when by just arranging a dubious land deal could get you 100 times the amount ? Also, what is better - play with coins all day or play with lives and laws ? And moreover you can get a quick and endless replacement for anybody working for that salary - so that is a non issue. However, the tougher part is cleaning up the blood stains in the toll booth, which might cost a couple of hundred rupees.  That perhaps, is the only fallout I see.”

We also tried talking to an alive toll booth attendant , but he was busy in the rush hour , half hanging out side his window, with loose change in his hands. His arms and hands worked with nanosecond speeds , helping out the car drivers stuck in long queues. We could not talk to him, so we talked to the dead attendant.

“I was fired from my job at one of the Indian banks, as I had messed up a few photocopies. I could not stand it any more , as all I used to get there was four thousand rupees, and an endless stream of punjabi abuses. My job was to photocopy all documents , fourteen copies each and pass them to the office boy who used to deliver them at all desks. One day I took photocopies at a darker hue - and was fired immediately for wasting precious ink. They found my  replacement in a day.

After that I entered retail business where I used to stand at the cash register. In spite of being the fastest one in checking out the items, I was  often abused by customers, again in choicest punjabi when their credit card did not work due to bad phone lines or the cheap Chinese scanning and billing equipment failed.  I was fired from there as I used too many polyethene packets by sorting out toiletries and food items in separate packets. In a single day that used to bring down the earning of the store by Rs 8/-. They found my replacement in 8 hours.

Then I thought a toll booth attendant would be a better job, as no one would have the time to talk to me there let alone abuse me, and I would be able to do my job with full sincerity and not be fired. But I did not know I could still be fired at. ”

It took 4 hours to find a replacement for the toll booth attendant. The Toll Plaza company has also asked the government to increase the cost of ammunition so that they don’t have to spend time in recruiting people for the replacement reqs.

As for the dead toll booth attendant’s family, they are being foolish and repeatedly saying that they find him irreplaceable.